My Star Wars Saga: Lightsaber Immersion Blender Review

Hi [REDACTED],

This is my last review of the items you recently sent me to test out, The Lightsaber Immersion Blender.  First of all, this thing has got some weight to it (a good thing).  Makes you feel like you’re holding a power tool, which I guess is exactly what an immersion blender is.  I used it last weekend when I made a huge batch of marinara sauce for freezing.  I dumped 6 large cans of whole peeled san marzano tomatoes into a 10 quart stockpot with a large jar of marinated artichoke hearts and another large jar of garlic stuffed castelveltrano olives, along with some other herbs and spices.  I heated it until it started simmering, then unleashed the lightsaber immersion blender on the whole kit and kaboodle.  I really did the job well.  It cut through the contents of that stockpot like a warm knife through butter.  Any time the head of the immersion blender got close to the bottom of the pot, it sucked it right to it, like a powerful vacuum cleaner exactly how a good immersion blender should.  After maybe ten minutes of really getting in there, I had a nicely puree’d tomato sauce with zero chunks.  Usually I use a potato masher so I have chunks, but this time I wanted to created a nice smooth sauce to see how the lightsaber blender handled it.  It did great.  Zero complaints.  My only suggestion would be a longer stem.  It’s just a little bit short.  It was almost too short to reach the bottom of the stock pot without submerging the handle… almost.  But one more can of tomatoes and it wouldn’t have been long enough.  I probably wouldn’t have even noted it’s length, but I already have a great immersion blender I love, so I compared them.  The Lightsaber is…

You know what?  Disregard everything I wrote about the length.  I was wrong.  I just went and compared them side by side, the lightsaber with my Kitchen Aid immersion blender and they’re exactly the same length.  The handle of my Kitchen Aid is an inch or two longer, but the actual blender attachment is the same.  I misjudged it.

Okay, so my actual only suggestion would be, again to have a charging dock instead of a AC cord.  It sucks having to wrangle the cord so it doesn’t catch on fire while using it in a pot on the stove.  I don’t know how feasible this would be.  I would imagine to create the kind of power an immersion blender needs to function properly you might have to use a wall outlet, but one can dream.  Just imagine…a charging dock that looks like R2D2.  handle of the immersion blender sticking out his head like Return of the Jedi.  Ah, geek dreams.

Well, there you have it.  If I didn’t already own an immersion blender, the Lightsaber immersion blender would get a lot of use.  In fact, it still may.  It’s pretty looks pretty bad ass.  And it works well.

And here ends my reviews of all the items you sent me:  Stormtrooper Waffle Iron, Lightsaber Salt and Pepper Grinders, Stormtrooper Toaster, R2D2 Toaster and Lightsaber Immersion Blender.  I hope these reviews have been useful in some way.  Should you ever decide you’d want to send me more merchandise to review, please do not hesitate to sent it along.  I’m happy to test out anything you’d like, and I rather enjoy writing these reviews.

Thank you.


[NOTE:  It has been several weeks since I sent in my last review and I have yet to receive a single reply to any of the reviews I’ve sent in.  No idea what that means, but if at any point I hear back from Uncanny Brands I’ll be sure to update here on Aberration Type.]

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